As much as it pains me to admit it, every single time I reach for a bag of potato chips (which I love), or a piece of chocolate, or a ding dong cookie, an image of that annoying Joyce Cherrier and her perfect abs pops into my head. That doesn’t mean I don’t buy the chips, eat the chocolate and hide the cookies from my kids. Au contraire. It does, however, mean that my friendship with Joyce and her admirably devoted to fitness and nutrition self makes me stop and think about the consequences of eating yet another piece of crap. And, as much as it pains me to say, never mind write, it probably does make me eat less. And, loathe as I am to admit it, I even subscribe to and actually read her doggone healthy blog, which makes me at least FEEL more buff, even if I’m not.

Joyce makes me better.

And when I’m writing a blog post, whenever I feel like mailing it in, I stop and think of my friend, Erika Napoletano, the infamous Head Redhead at Redheadwriting. She’s a magician with words and crafts them in a way that always inspires me. Whatever there is to say, whomever it is saying it, Erika can and does do it so very eloquently. And I’m not just talking about her say anything persona. It’s about so much more than that. She’s an incredible writer, knows more about writing for maximum SEO than I can ever hope to, is an amazingly adept researcher and has a way of wrangling the written word that’s better than just about anything I’ve seen. I’m in awe. She also taught me to pay myself first. And it’s a mantra that I repeat to myself, and anyone else who will listen, on a daily basis. That means regularly remembering to do things for yourself – like write a blog post, or optimize your site for search, or anything else that impacts your business or your life – every single day. Before you take care of everyone else. Because if you don’t’ take care of yourself, who else is going to do it?

Erika makes me better.

And when I’m thinking about who I want to be when I grow up, if I ever grow up, I think of Liz Strauss. She’s so dead on smart that it almost takes my breath away. She forces me to ask tough questions and never just be satisfied with the quick and easy answer. Liz dives deep into the middle of just about everything and doesn’t ever settle until she’s found the answer she’s looking for. The one that makes sense. And when I’m with her or talking on the phone with her or just thinking about her, I find myself wanting to be sure and think things all the way through. The way that Liz would. I love the way she pulls people together and supports them, whether it’s through her blog, SOBCon, her SOB awards and directory and a myriad of other things. And she pushes them (even when they don’t think they want to be pushed) and pulls more out of them than they thought they had to give. She manages to magically create a feeling of community out of even the most mundane experiences, before anyone even realizes what’s happening. She’s a teacher, a mentor, a strategist, a connector, a facilitator, a brilliant thought leader and all of those terrific qualities are wrapped up in just about the nicest person ever. With whipped cream and a cherry on top.

Liz makes me better.

That’s me. There are more. But this is my start. What about you? Who makes you better? Won’t you tell me who they are and why? I’d love to know who inspires you. Then I’ll stalk them my own self!

Squish 'em like a bug, baby

Dear Competitor,

I couldn’t sleep last night and found myself thinking of you. I love competition, both for myself and for my clients. It keeps me thinking (which I enjoy), on my toes (good, because I’m short) and adaptable (which I find, perversely, fun). And while I was thinking of you, I felt compelled to write, just to make sure we’re on the same page on a few things.

And, of course, because I’m nice. And I worry about your business and how it’s going to measure up against me and my clients’ businesses. And just because I’m so doggone considerate, here are my suggestions for your success in 2010 and beyond.

Your Website
Please don’t change it. Not now, and not any time soon. Especially if it was built more than two or three years ago. I’m sure it’s totally up-to-date, optimized for search, well-researched and written with regard to your target audience and just out there working its little tail off for you on a daily basis. Give yourself bonus points if it’s built in Flash or has cool things like music that blares as soon as someone opens the site and or video that starts playing instantly. Those are both such attractive things and users really, really love them. Nevermind effective out the wazoo.

Google Alerts
No matter what anyone says, it really doesn’t matter what people are saying about you or your brand, so cluttering up your email box with pesky alerts from Google is just a waste of time. Plus, you know who you are and what you do, and if anyone has any questions, they can ask you, right? But listening to the social media space and all those Internet crazies, nah. Don’t do it!!

Search Smirch
All these people going on and on and on about “search” and how important it is to show up in search – which means that Google thing, I guess. Lord, but I get sick of hearing about that, too. Well, ignore ‘em. Seriously. When I want to search something, I do it the old-fashioned way, I dig out the Yellow Pages. I see you nodding your head. You do it, too, dontcha? Well, there’s no reason to expect your customers or prospective customers to do it any differently, right? After all, if people weren’t using those doggone Yellow Pages books, they wouldn’t still be delivering them to your front door, now would they? So ignore all that blather about search – people will find you the way they always have. You can count on it.

Social Media
Listen to the people! All the people who say that social media is just a big, fat, time suck are right! Nobody in his right mind cares what people are Tweetering about what they had for breakfast, what someone else is “fanning” on Facebook, or where they are checking in on a daily basis through that FourCircle thing – or whatever the heck it’s called. And for sure, that geolocation stuff blows and is so not worth a second thought. Who needs to know where anyone else is throughout the course of a day? What possible good could come from that, anyway? Never mind that Blippy thing, where people tell other people all what they’re buying and where they’re buying it, for Pete’s sake. How lame is that? Where’s the ROI in all that nonsense, anyway? Time suck. Money suck. No way, Jose. Not for me.

Mobile Marketing – What?
Sure, I use my cell phone and text my husband now and again, but that’s the exception rather than the rule. Heck, I can just call him. And when he doesn’t answer, I leave him a voicemail. And of course he listens to it (it’d be rude otherwise). It’s just what you do. Call people, they answer, you talk. All these crazy people talking about mobile marketing and using text messages as part of a marketing strategy don’t know a hill of beans about good marketing tactics – no one will stand for that garbage. Plus, who needs a coupon on the cell phone – I get mine in my daily newspaper, dude. Never mind how nutty it is to read all that shiggedy about people actually designing stuff – like websites – to be viewed on the dang cellphone. How crazy is that? Nobody does that stuff. Heck, I wait until I’m home and in front of my desktop before getting on the Internet – and everyone else who has a lick of sense does too, don’t you know it?

So, there you have it. I’ve saved you a bunch of time, expense and headaches by doing all the homework for you and sharing my findings. Just keep on keeping on, doing business the way you always have, and things will be just fine. After all, no one likes change and it’s a pain in the neck to learn new things and do things differently. It’s kind of like watering grass in the desert. Just doesn’t make sense.

Now does it?

Don’t you remember your mother’s admonition about not wearing ratty underwear in case of an accident?  Well, I’m pretty sure that we ALL have some of those kinds of underwear stashed in our drawers.  And as we all know, accidents do happen.  What she really meant by that adage was that you always want to put your best foot forward – even down to the nitty gritty of your choice of underwear, because you never know who’s going to be looking at them.

I’m not sure why we insist on keeping things that are beyond their prime.  For some, it might be out of a sense of frugality, but for many, it’s truly because change is hard.  And that, my friends, is the key.  Change. Is. Hard.

For me, websites are a bit like tattered underwear.  I encounter terrific people on a daily basis who have websites that are sadly outdated and doing absolutely nothing for them in terms of search, brand image, awareness, etc.  And anyone who thinks they are not being judged based on the look and feel, content and effectiveness of their website is simply fooling themselves.

We have a client who owns a local small business.  When we started working with her, she had a website that was about 10 years old and was more horrible than words can describe.  In short, it was so poorly constructed that she had never, ever been picked up by a search engine.  It was head-shakingly horrid. And she’d just been holding onto it because she didn’t know any better.  And she thought that to replace it would cost infinitely more than she could afford.  But, ultimately, she made the decision to trust us, find the money in an already tight budget, and redo her website.   And she was thrilled when we brought the project in $200 under budget.  We also started her blogging, integrated a contest into her marketing strategies and did a few other things designed to drive traffic, search and awareness.

We are big believers in using ethical search engine marketing tactics and go to great lengths to ensure that our clients understand that great search results take a little time.  We got amazingly lucky with regard to this particular client and she started showing up in search within a very short time of the website launch.  And the coolest thing about all of this is just being able to sit back and watch our client reap the benefits of her leap of faith into the world of actually marketing her business in a strategic manner.  She’s busier than she’s ever been.  Her phone rings on a daily basis, she gets email inquiries from all over the world. Her biggest problem these days is having enough staff to handle the influx of business.  And it’s all because people are searching for what it is that she does – and finding her.  She is loving life and her business is thriving, in spite of the down economy, and it’s all because she decided to take a chance. She decided to toss out the old, worn out, ineffective stuff and replace it with new.

The lesson here is that change is good. And necessary.  Even if you are attached to your tattered undies, you have to occasionally toss them out and buy new ones. They look better, they fit better, they feel better.  They do a better job at what it was they were designed to do.  The same is true of your website or other collateral marketing materials and tools that you have. Just because you designed them once, doesn’t mean that they are still effective.  Smart business people regularly evaluate those tools and their effectiveness. And, if you’re not doing that, you’re doing your brand and your business an injustice.