Pssst – That @JoyceCherrier is Trying to Kill Me!

Okay, so here’s the deal. I made a post on Facebook a few weeks ago mentioning that I used to have killer arms and that, to my chagrin, they now seem ordinary. I am committed to getting them back to the stellar mode and trudging through the Valley of Pain in order to make that happen. One of my regular Facebook stalkers is, well, you guessed it, none other than @JoyceCherrier.

Let’s talk a minute about Joyce. I first met her on Twitter. Honestly, at first blush, I thought she was one of those TwitHos, looking for dates or a rich husband by flashing her half naked body parts around. On further inspection, she seemed kind of nice, so I decided to be less judgmental and see what she was all about. But, I mean, seriously, can anyone really like a woman with these kind of abs?

Okay, against all odds, I manage to put my preconceived stereotypes aside and fall completely and totally in love with the amazing woman that is @JoyceCherrier. She is smart, kind, incredibly talented and wonderful addition to my life. I adore her. Or, at least I used to until she decided to try and kill me.

“What” you say? “Whatever do you mean?” Well, I’ll tell you. That #hagilicious hag of a woman took it upon herself to send me one of her favorite torture products, the P90X.

Do you have any idea what that is??? Here, let me show you.

Note the title: P90X Extreme Home Fitness System

Seriously. I’m at the gym lifting 10-pound dumbbells and this crazy broad sends me P90X. This is what I’m talking about, folks. Clearly, she is ill intentioned. To further illustrate my point, check out this lingo, lifted directly from the PX90 Extreme Home Fitness System Instruction Manual:

“If you’re unsure whether or not you are in good enough condition to take on this extreme fitness program (I am not, let me assure you), see the minimum suggested requirements in the Fit Test section of this guidebook. If you are unable to perform the minimum required reps for most of the exercises {or find the need to call the paramedics within minutes of popping in the first video} (funny, very funny) P90X might not be for you.”

So, I’m going on the record here. I’ve apparently done something to piss @JoyceCherrier off, because she has, without question taken the first step in an obvious murder attempt. I write this blog post to protect my family in the event she is ultimately successful and to warn others about her. Just as I first suspected, anyone who has abs like that, clearly, can NOT be trusted. Be careful. Be very, very careful.

P.S. And if you’re even remotely interested in fitness, great nutrition or living a life of wellness, I highly recommend you read and subscribe to @JoyceCherrier’s blog – she’s amazing and knows her stuff.